So, as a tribute to my former self, I'm going to leave a few postings here from a long time ago. But it just so happens I need this blog again for something completely unrelated to what I used to use it for. I guess I'll post on this blog too for Kinsey's sake, since I'll be using this website anyway. Let's see if I can't entertain a few people while I must be at it....

This is to be sung to the tune of Yankee Doodle. Enjoy! ^_^

Verse1
Google, Google,
in my home,
always on my computer,
tells me facts and random crap
that I just have to know.

Google, Google,
oh god no,
my internet is down.
how will i
find out now
if tangerines turn brown?

Verse 2
Google, Google,
Google Earth,
Stalking people's easy,
you can even find out if
Miley Cyrus has a split personality.

Lemons, lemons,
are they good
for you if you want to
stick em in your eyes and call
the yellow thingies contacts?

Verse 3
Google, Google,
Google whacks,
you get so many hits,
that it has
become a game
to see how few you cn get.

When you look up my friend's name
(its "Kinsey" by the way)
you will find that she was named
after a sexual behaviorist!

I will credit all those who tell me more verses to put up. Kudos to Kinsey, who did not give me permission to use her name. ^_^

I am getting REALLY frustrated by people who seem to think they know stuff, but really have no clue. So I'm gettingsomething off my chest. Right now.
Okay, people seem to think that it is possible to steal kidneys by luring them (the people, not the kidneys, although maybe it would sort of be like luring a kidney cuz it's inside the person being lured) into hotel rooms and then cutting them open while they're drugged and slobbering on the operating- I mean generic hotel bed. No. Seriously, no.
I watched a documentary last night about this doctor, and what he said made actual sense. He was saying about how you have to keep a kidney in ice to keep it from dying, and it must be at a certain temperature. Also, there are no ACTUAL cases of it happening. It's JUST an urban legend. And to give it to a person who wanted it, you would have to sneak it into a hospital and fool lots of records to get the kidney a number. Every kidney in the world that isn't in a living creature or rotting in the ground, has a number. Right. Now on to MP4 players.
STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID!!!!!!!!!! MP4 players do not exist! Those people for the fund raising programs at schools have no clue what they're talking about. And worse; the kids they want to earn those prizes soak it all up. "OOOOOOH! It has FOUR functions!!!!!" News flash; MP3 players usually have more than FIVE. Now let me tell you something. MP3 is a type of computer file. It does not refer to how pretty circuits are or how many functions something has. Please. Instead it is the way the computer presents sound. Like you have 5 senses to view different things, computers have different kinds of files to store them. No matter how much you like lemons, you are not going to stick them in your eyes and say,"MMMM. I like the way it tastes through my eyes." Instead you would probably say something like,"Oh. Why did I stick lemons in my eyes? That wasn't too smart." Or, if you're religious; " JESUS HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!" But if I were Jesus, I'd laugh at you.
So the next time I EVER hear someone talking about how GREAT their new MP4 player is, I'm shoving needles in their ears and saying,"Does it sound SHINY?!" And when I hear that someone's cousin had a kidney stolen, I'm pulling out my own, right on the spot, and giving it to them. Then I'll ask them what they'd do with it. (Seriously, ever tried going to a hospital and saying you have have a kidney you would sell them, and refusing to say where you got it?) So at last my rant is done. I hope you haven't killed yourself yet. And if you decide to, donate your kidneys first.

Yes, you saw that right. I nearly burned my house to ashes. You see, I have a rather artistic hobby of making clay sculptures. Then, I bake them in the toaster. (Can you see where this is headed?)
They were the finest cats I had ever made. (For some reason people like cats more than people, and I'm not good at making dogs.) They had FEET. They had EYES. They even had my name carved into their butts. (So people knew it was me who made them.) I had lovingly placed all twelve of them on the tray, exactly one inch apart in all directions. This was pretty obsessive compulsive of me, but I didn't want them getting hurt. So I slid them into the oven, and set the timer to 3 minutes. (Here is where I slam my head into the keyboard; bv b547 ghhjj gdfrt ew456ghjn jn kii6y^4) THEN. I went downstairs to retrieve my other clay, AND WHEN I CaME UP THE HOUSE WAS GONE!!!!! Okay, no, but seriously. I came up the basement steps, set the stuff on the table, and then I checked the baking process. I looked closely. It seemed as if... there was a tiny little flame. It was kinda cute. I figure I'd just reach in and... I don't know what I was going to do. But letting oxygen in was NOT a good idea. AS SOON as I opened the little door, FOUR MORE caught on fire! Now is when I see a problem. I called my mom. She was like, "Oh crap." She went for the fire extinguisher. The pin wouldn't come out. I unplugged the thing, which was hard cuz the toaster was now a literal flameball. Then she dumped the whole thing in the sink (with the use of pot holders), and turned the water on. All this in the space of about 10 seconds, and now our house smells like crap. With a slight hint of lovely polymer chemical clay. Makes me hungry. But then, I haven't toasted my breakfast bagel yet.

I was walking along, doing my paper route this morning down by some apartment complex where everything looks the same, because that's what people are into around here. I was completely minding my own business, when a LEAF struck my head. And it stuck, because of course, it had rained. Now this didn't worry me, at first. In fact, the leaf woke me up because my Mom insisted that I do my paper route at 4:30 in the morning. (apparently during the day, the crazies come out. But, since I'm a nice, normal, nocturnal person, I'll be safe. Thanks Mom) Back to the leaf. I reached up to brush it away. But it was stuck. so I clawed at it with my nails. Still stuck. As my fingers came away from it covered in mud, I realized that so was the leaf, which sucked. After a few more unsuccessful attempts to get it off, I spotted a lamp post. (remember, its 4:30 AM, so I'm not thinking clearly) I ran over to it, and rubbed my head on the post so that the leaf would stick to the post and not my head. Can you imagine that doesn't work? So I flopped my head in anger while I was still standing next to the lamp post. I have an awesome new injury.