(7) Why it is Impossible to Succesfully Steal a Kidney (And Other Rant-able Items)

I am getting REALLY frustrated by people who seem to think they know stuff, but really have no clue. So I'm gettingsomething off my chest. Right now.
Okay, people seem to think that it is possible to steal kidneys by luring them (the people, not the kidneys, although maybe it would sort of be like luring a kidney cuz it's inside the person being lured) into hotel rooms and then cutting them open while they're drugged and slobbering on the operating- I mean generic hotel bed. No. Seriously, no.
I watched a documentary last night about this doctor, and what he said made actual sense. He was saying about how you have to keep a kidney in ice to keep it from dying, and it must be at a certain temperature. Also, there are no ACTUAL cases of it happening. It's JUST an urban legend. And to give it to a person who wanted it, you would have to sneak it into a hospital and fool lots of records to get the kidney a number. Every kidney in the world that isn't in a living creature or rotting in the ground, has a number. Right. Now on to MP4 players.
STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID!!!!!!!!!! MP4 players do not exist! Those people for the fund raising programs at schools have no clue what they're talking about. And worse; the kids they want to earn those prizes soak it all up. "OOOOOOH! It has FOUR functions!!!!!" News flash; MP3 players usually have more than FIVE. Now let me tell you something. MP3 is a type of computer file. It does not refer to how pretty circuits are or how many functions something has. Please. Instead it is the way the computer presents sound. Like you have 5 senses to view different things, computers have different kinds of files to store them. No matter how much you like lemons, you are not going to stick them in your eyes and say,"MMMM. I like the way it tastes through my eyes." Instead you would probably say something like,"Oh. Why did I stick lemons in my eyes? That wasn't too smart." Or, if you're religious; " JESUS HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!" But if I were Jesus, I'd laugh at you.
So the next time I EVER hear someone talking about how GREAT their new MP4 player is, I'm shoving needles in their ears and saying,"Does it sound SHINY?!" And when I hear that someone's cousin had a kidney stolen, I'm pulling out my own, right on the spot, and giving it to them. Then I'll ask them what they'd do with it. (Seriously, ever tried going to a hospital and saying you have have a kidney you would sell them, and refusing to say where you got it?) So at last my rant is done. I hope you haven't killed yourself yet. And if you decide to, donate your kidneys first.