(5) "I Almost Burned My House Down," a True Story

Yes, you saw that right. I nearly burned my house to ashes. You see, I have a rather artistic hobby of making clay sculptures. Then, I bake them in the toaster. (Can you see where this is headed?)
They were the finest cats I had ever made. (For some reason people like cats more than people, and I'm not good at making dogs.) They had FEET. They had EYES. They even had my name carved into their butts. (So people knew it was me who made them.) I had lovingly placed all twelve of them on the tray, exactly one inch apart in all directions. This was pretty obsessive compulsive of me, but I didn't want them getting hurt. So I slid them into the oven, and set the timer to 3 minutes. (Here is where I slam my head into the keyboard; bv b547 ghhjj gdfrt ew456ghjn jn kii6y^4) THEN. I went downstairs to retrieve my other clay, AND WHEN I CaME UP THE HOUSE WAS GONE!!!!! Okay, no, but seriously. I came up the basement steps, set the stuff on the table, and then I checked the baking process. I looked closely. It seemed as if... there was a tiny little flame. It was kinda cute. I figure I'd just reach in and... I don't know what I was going to do. But letting oxygen in was NOT a good idea. AS SOON as I opened the little door, FOUR MORE caught on fire! Now is when I see a problem. I called my mom. She was like, "Oh crap." She went for the fire extinguisher. The pin wouldn't come out. I unplugged the thing, which was hard cuz the toaster was now a literal flameball. Then she dumped the whole thing in the sink (with the use of pot holders), and turned the water on. All this in the space of about 10 seconds, and now our house smells like crap. With a slight hint of lovely polymer chemical clay. Makes me hungry. But then, I haven't toasted my breakfast bagel yet.